Marilyn Elzey, longtime Talawanda teacher and local activist, dies

When Scott Cromer went to English class at Talawanda High School, he wasn’t just greeted by a teacher.

He was greeted by his mom.

“She was a pretty relentless teacher, so nothing really slipped,” Cromer said. “... It was a little intrusive at first, but when you got older and realized your grammar was pretty damn good, it felt awesome.”

His mom, Marilyn Elzey, died on Aug. 27, 2024. She was diagnosed with cancer 11 years ago and given three months to live at that time.

Marilyn, 80, was a third-generation Miami University student. Both her daughter and granddaughter also went on to attend her alma mater in Oxford. After graduating, Marilyn became an English teacher in the Talawanda School District in 1968.

Her students remember her fondly, despite her tough grading and high standards. One particularly infamous assignment involved memorizing excerpts from classics like “Canterbury Tales.”

Matthew Bartow had Marilyn in class for two years in a row, both his junior and senior years. She was the most engaging and passionate teacher he had. Bartow worked hardest on her assignments and got the lowest grades of his high school career in her classes.

And he’s carried the lessons he learned from her throughout his career in engineering.

“You’d think that English might not have as big of an impact on my career,” Bartow said. “But I think the critical thinking skills and hard-working ethic that she taught and encouraged in me were maybe the most impactful things in my career relative to anything else I did at Talawanda.”

Bartow occasionally reconnected with Marilyn when he returned to Oxford after he graduated. He also made lifelong friends with some of the other students from her classes.

Cromer said he grew up with Marilyn’s students coming over to the house, especially after graduating. Her high standards could be tough to deal with in the moment — even inspiring a Facebook group called “I survived Marilyn Elzey” — but her students grew to appreciate their time with her looking back.

“It takes a few years to realize how invaluable and helpful she actually was,” Cromer said.

Marilyn retired from Talawanda in 1999, but she didn’t stop teaching, working as a tutor for athletes at Miami University for years.

In her retirement, Marilyn also became deeply involved with political activism in Oxford.

Jerome Stanley, a professor emeritus at Miami University, remembers regularly meeting with others once or twice a month at Marilyn’s house, always on Tuesdays at 10 a.m. If the weather was warm, they’d sit outside on her terrace. In the winter, they moved inside. Regardless of the temperature, Marilyn would always have coffee ready when Stanley and others arrived.

The last meeting at Marilyn’s house was in mid-August, Stanley said. The half-dozen or so attendees wrote postcards in support of a local democratic candidate.

“She was quite a force around here,” Stanley said. 

Steve Chaffin moved to Oxford three years and met Marilyn at a Butler County Progressive PAC meeting. He remembered being drawn to her because of her level-headedness, and he made an effort to get to know her at that first meeting.

“I remember her being a very calming influence,” Chaffin said. “Sometimes you’ll get into heated discussions about things. Marilyn was always very calm, no matter what was going on in the room.”

In the years after that first meeting, Chaffin became close friends with Marilyn. The pair would frequently have lunch together and exchange books. In one book that Marilyn gave to Chaffin for Christmas, “If Nietzsche were a Narwhal,” she wrote that he had become a mentor and good friend to her. That feeling went both ways, he said.

“She would be an inspiration to me … She overall just felt like we need to be better people,” Chaffin said. “We need to do good. We need to help others, and her life was totally committed to helping others.”

When Chaffin looks back on what he learned from Marilyn, he remembers her patience and belief in people. Bartow remembers the critical thinking and work ethic she encouraged in her students. For Stanley, he’ll remember her friendly manner and drive to reach out to everyone in the community.

And for Cromer, three lessons will stick out the most.

“Stay curious, ask tons of questions, love everybody,” he said. His mom was the best listener he ever met, Cromer said. He remembers returning home from a year in Guatemala and sitting down with her for hours as she asked an endless stream of questions, never losing interest.

“She touched so many lives,” Cromer said. “Through being a teacher, a wife, an activist, she just met so many people. Whenever there’s a conflict or disagreements or trash talking, whether those were students or political activists, she always reminded people that we’re all just humans, and we should not waste time being cruel and insensitive to one another.”

Marilyn is survived by Cromer, her stepchildren Chris Elzey, Becca Voss and Vangie Elzey; her sister Jackie Reis and brother-in-law Peter Reis; daughters-in-law Dana Green and Karen Elzey; sons-in-law Dave Voss and John Lange; and plenty of nieces and nephews, grandchildren and friends. She is preceded in death by her husband Wayne Elzey, ex-husband Rodger Cromer, daughter Vicki Lange, father Jack Woliston, mother Harriet Woliston and sister Pam Powell.